Connections That Matter

In this episode of Community Chats, Sam Forbes and Sam McKhail, CLTO Influencers, join Brad Saunders, CEO of Community Living Toronto, for a conversation about advocacy, community and what belonging means to them.

From programs that helped Sam Forbes build confidence and social skills, to Sam McKhail finding a sense of connection through his cultural heritage and community, they share some of the experiences that have shaped their lives. They also talk about their work as CLTO Influencers, the importance of having opportunities to share lived experiences, and how simple acts of kindness can help create spaces where people feel respected, supported, and comfortable being themselves.
 
The conversation reminds us that belonging can start with something as simple as a smile, being seen and knowing that your experiences matter.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hello, I'm Brad Saunders. I'm the CEO of Community Living Toronto, and welcome to our Community Chats podcast. This is a podcast for Community Living Toronto members, people that are interested, and our communities that we are in. We love our communities, and these podcasts are one way that we are connecting people who share our vision for places where everyone belongs and where everyone is valued. In this episode, we're joined by two influencers, Sam Forbes and Samura McHale. They both brought their voices, their experience, and their advocacy to this conversation about what it really means to build a welcoming community for people with an intellectual disability. Sam's been an influencer for several years and has taken that experience into workplaces, speaking engagements, and community spotlights across the city of Toronto. Sammer has recently joined the Community Living Toronto Influencer. He's been there about a year, and he's already making his mark from his Community Spotlight series to representing Community Living Toronto at the Community Living Ontario conference. Today we'll hear about their journeys, what community and belonging mean to them, and what they'd like to see change for people with intellectual disabilities. Belonging begins with listening, so please enjoy what Sam and Samur have to share. Okay, welcome everybody. We're here today speaking with two of our CLTO influencers. Thank you. All right. You guys have had quite an adventurous summer, so we're gonna talk a little bit about that. But I wanted to start off by people, you're both well known, but I thought I thought I'd uh start off by getting you to introduce uh a little bit about yourselves. So, Sam, I'll start with uh I'll start with you. Um tell us a little bit about yourself.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Um so my name is Sam Forbes. I'm 28 years old. I have autism spectrum disorder and a mild intellectual disability. And my interests are horror movies. I love watching horror movies, um, I love watching true crime, I love watching documentaries on artists, painters, um, and I I um I love reading and I love all kinds of food except for cilantro. I can't do cilantro.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

I agree. It's not there's something about it. I'll tell I I can take it, but it's not my I never asked for cilantro. Um now horror movies, what's your what's the best, most recent, best or most recent horror movie that you've you've seen that you'd recommend?

SPEAKER_03 3:12

Um Hereditary for me is um one of my favorite recent horror movies. Okay. Um I'm a big fan of that director. Um he's done a lot of other really good movies, but um Tony Tony Collette's performance in Hereditary. Hereditary, eh?

SPEAKER_01 3:38

I haven't seen it, so I'll have to I'll have to take a look. Horror is not my favorite, but I'll do my best. Um uh thanks, Sam. So Samur, what about yourself? Tell us a little bit about your about uh uh who you are.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

Sure. Yeah, I mean uh hi, my name is Samar McHale, and uh I'm uh actually uh from Community Living Toronto and I work at uh Judy's Beach Cafe. And uh I'm 45 years old, and uh what I could say about myself is that I'm just uh a very friendly person and very patient, outgoing, and uh I really honestly like uh hanging out with uh some friends at events and uh actual places, and uh I also like partying and uh also um as well I some of the things I just enjoy doing my spare time. Usually I just uh you know commu um usually I just uh um just and sometimes enjoy some uh Netflix movies and episode and also soap operas I watch on TV or on YouTube.

SPEAKER_01 4:47

And I also listen to music. Okay. Favorite soap, what's your favorite one? My favorite is uh Beyond the Gates. Oh, I don't know that. Okay, it's a new soap opera that opened up. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

Or I like the URL Restlesses.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

That's the one with uh Victor and all that, right? Yep, Victor, Nikki, Phyllis, yep, and uh Jack. Excellent, excellent. So now you guys are both very involved with uh your communities. You're not two people who sit around and and uh and don't engage. Um and you both uh I think you both live in Toronto, correct? Yes, yeah. Sam, are you in Toronto?

SPEAKER_02 5:28

I agree with Toronto in the North York end. I forgot to say that I'm friendly and cool, and yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

Well, that just comes through and how you are, so you didn't have people we could pick that up. Um so you you both live in Toronto, you both go out in the community. What are some of the things that you like about uh the communities in which you live that uh that make you feel welcomed or when you have felt in in included? Does anything jump to mind? And and Sam, I'll I'll start with you.

SPEAKER_03 5:59

Um I think for me, um I would say there's this program called Dramaway that I used to be a part of that um is very much arts-based, but they also do like life skill stuff and stuff like that out in the community. And um I used to be a part of their acting program. And um I would say that that is a good example for me because um they really um they and I used to I used to go to a school called Kohai, which was a school that was specifically run for only differently abled individuals. And um those two examples I would say are um are good for me because they both helped me with my social skills, and um they both helped me with how I navigate the world, and um they kind of helped me get out more into society.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

Right. Excellent. Um Samur, nice background that you switched to there. Yeah, I figured it out. Okay, excellent. Um what about yourself? What is it about the community, or when have you felt welcomed or felt when you're in the community? What what what are what's something or a few things that make you like the community with which you live in?

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Well, um one thing I can actually say is that uh um that every Ramadan I actually go to uh um a small Turkish mosque and uh I celebrate uh my um what's it called cultural heritage there, and uh I go to a small mosque called Mavlana. This is uh one of the things that makes me um feel so wanted and welcomed over there and uh very warm and friendly and uh acceptance and uh very kind and generous and nice.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

Okay. Now, Ramadan, for people that may not know, can you can you explain what Ramadan is?

SPEAKER_02 8:26

It's just a um like uh I was uh what can I say? It's just some uh kind of like uh um an uh it's a just an occasion of a holy month um for like when the Muslims uh they kind of celebrate uh a traditional um when they like uh it depends on the choice on how when they fast or anything. And uh usually because during the uh um during like a what's it called, the sunrise, I mean they just uh don't eat or drink or anything, but when the sun comes down, they can break their fast by like uh having their meals and people make choices if they can or cannot fast or anything. And um just for the Muslims that they do some kind of a a celebration and just uh um the sake for like uh many of the people that uh have like some kind of like uh um some struggles and uh suffers and sadness and uh and life and everything and uh you know of the poor of uh you know of uh whether if they um are like it's just kind of like a bit of a child challenging part-time thing.

SPEAKER_01 9:28

I think you participate in Ramadan and um and it it is something that where you feel quite welcomed, um, where you're celebrating your faith and then the the community uh that you're part of as well.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

Yeah, and the massage it and uh everything and just uh a very good atmosphere and it's just uh a very amazing feeling and just uh feels like home and uh also um something very valuable, and that's the thing I could say, and then many other places like uh um other communities, like I mean to like uh stores or any like kind of like shopping outlets in the plaza is a nice thing as well, too.

SPEAKER_01 10:08

Great, excellent, excellent. Now you have both uh you are both uh influencers. So community tomorrow has a an influencer group that has been around for a few years now. Um and Sam, you are uh uh I think you're an original, you're an OG. Uh Sam, or you're new to being an influencer. So I wanted to ask you a little bit about that. First of all, um Sam, I'll start with you. What do you what are the influencers? What are the influencers uh what do they do?

SPEAKER_03 10:40

Um so the CLTO influencers is a group of self-advocates who go around Ontario to promote advocacy. And we we go to conferences, we go to um special events, um, and we each of us we each advocate for something that we're passionate about.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:19

And um I'm very passionate about differently abled advocacy and LGBTQIA advocacy. And um what's inspiring to me within the influencers group is it is that we seem to really like feed off of each other.

SPEAKER_01 11:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 11:43

And um we seem we seem to really get inspired by each other from from what I observe anyway. And um I would say that it's kind of helped my advocacy my my personal advocacy go into like the further.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:13

And um because because I I personally have have been with it since its inception, and um I think we've all really like grown within the influencers community. I feel like me personally, it's helped me with my advocacy and what I stand for. And um yeah, just just to me, I feel like it's been very um inspiring being a so it's a cooperative, supportive type group.

SPEAKER_01 12:52

Uh not so much competition and all that. You feel like you're you're you're with a group of like-minded people that are supporting the work you do and supporting each other. Yeah. Great, great. Um, Sam are you're relatively new to the group. Um, yeah, because I've been there for one year until you what? Okay, no, no, go the one year, so that's great. What what what's the what's that experience been like for you? Because you're coming into a group that's been around for a number of years and you're new to it. How did that go?

SPEAKER_02 13:21

Oh, it's actually really wonderful, and it's actually great. I actually am uh really enjoying it so much. And uh the other thing uh from what Sam said, um, that explains it all. But one more thing I wanted to add, what they what the influencer also even does as well too. Usually we have like a monthly um online live stream uh meetings as well too. Like sometimes we would meet in person, sometimes we would meet uh um on Zoom uh for our monthly meeting, but mostly I hear we meet for Zoom for the times. Usually we come in person, maybe like uh maybe for three things that are actual, but regularly we would come for when it comes to an occasion or so, you know, like the Valentine's Christmas party or anything like that, or I don't or that kind of stuff, or something for the summer. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

Now, one of the programs that you guys train on, and correct me if I'm wrong here, but so listen, include, respect. Are you both been involved in listen include respect uh training? Yeah, we went to that one last year. Okay. Sam yourself as well. You are yeah, yeah. What so listen include respect is a framework that was developed by Inclusion International and another disability organization that is escaping me. Um and it basically, you don't remember who else developed it, do you? Either of you? No, sorry, it'll come to me, I'm sure, as soon as I end this, but um the it's uh it's supporting organizations and boards and organizations around how to make yourself more accessible uh and inclusive to individuals with a disability. So you you have both done some training in that. Now you recently the influencers recently went on a tour uh around the province or parts of the province. Were you both on that?

SPEAKER_03 15:11

No.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

No, so that the the tour up to Dryden and Sioux Lookout, and no, I think that was some of the other influences, actually.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Okay. Where have you been? I've been to Sioux Lookout once, uh that was 20 years ago at the Old Self Advocates Council.

SPEAKER_01 15:30

Okay. What was uh what was Sioux Lookout like 20 years ago?

SPEAKER_02 15:36

Good question. Well, it was actually really nice, and it was really amazing, and it was so beautiful and wondrous and adventurous, and it was really so much fun. And uh basically um, well, so far I did participate into some nice sessions, and also uh they had some uh school bus arrangements uh where they had to do pickup and drop off to other um different centers that we have to get to um if we have to catch sessions or catch um other meals or so or anything. And I know at the beginning they had this uh sweetgrass ceremony and they had a pow-wow, like for the Indian ceremony culture thing. And uh yeah, and uh it was really amazing, and uh they had just uh you know a gathering and music and nice food, and it was really fun.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

It's very far up north, is it not?

SPEAKER_02 16:25

Yeah, it is, and so and then we actually really flew by the Air Canada jazz, and then they also had a um a small plane that uh was very, you know, like um very just uh efficient, but uh there's also like the second one that uh was from I I don't know if it was yeah, it was from Thunder Bay, um that we stood there for a few hours and then we took that from to Sue Lookout, but that small plane uh obviously didn't have a washroom, but the Air Canada Jazz did though.

SPEAKER_01 16:53

Okay, good. So this summer one of the things you did was a live stream. Uh and who who who did the live? Did you both do one or or uh just one of you?

SPEAKER_03 17:02

I actually just recently did one. So okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:06

What was uh tell us about that?

SPEAKER_03 17:08

So um what's really cool and interesting about the influencer live streams is that every time we have a different person within the world of disability. And um this time we had an individual from this program called the Disability Collective, which is, I believe, a arts-based program for people with different abilities. And um, we just interviewed her about what the program was about, and um we had like a fun little this or that game near the end of the uh live stream.

SPEAKER_01 17:55

Okay, and w the disability collective, where is that? Are they is it in uh Toronto or is it?

SPEAKER_03 18:00

I believe it's in Toronto. I think it's in Toronto. Okay, I'm pretty sure. But um they do they put on like productions and sometimes they do like touring productions and all that kind of stuff. So it's kind of similar to Drama Way, but not okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:21

And the the live streams that you do, they're um they're what what they're called community spotlight. Yeah. Okay. And Sam, have you been part of one of these yet, or are you still still still to come?

SPEAKER_02 18:34

Um, yeah, I actually have been part of the that live stream thing. I mean, I obviously did a few um with some uh individual with the um other influencer, and I also even did some interview with the one person and with uh another one and then the other one uh as well to um to discuss about uh what uh um their experiences were like and what some of their activities they're involved in and what they've been enjoying and what part of the uh community and what kind of stuff that they've been uh learning from so far. And yeah, and question answer, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:07

Right, right. So with your time in the influencers and Samur, you've been in for a year, and uh Sam, you've been in for uh longer than that, a number of years. Um what's one thing that you've learned along the way from doing this kind of uh work and advocacy and engaging uh with people in maybe a a different way? Um Samur, I'll start with you. What uh what have you learned along the way?

SPEAKER_02 19:34

Um so far, I mean, uh basically like um how to make some positive changes and also to uh keep the group uh very safe and uh secure, and also for to um also usually for um being like how to get along with some people and learning to respect other people's privacy and making other people feel welcome and good about themselves, and to making people feel that uh they're honestly, you know, uh included in that thing, but uh and also to you know um how to have some like uh self-courtesy, self-respect, and uh learning how to respect other people's privacy and so on, and to you know, have patience and yeah, etc. And uh how to, you know, like uh be very, you know, like uh polite and respectful towards one another, and uh and yeah, and uh making other people feel good about themselves. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Yeah, those are good things to learn. Uh Sam, what what what are some of the things that you've learned along the way?

SPEAKER_03 20:37

Um I agree with all that too, but I think for me, um I've learned how I've learned more about advocacy. I've learned more about self-advocacy. Um I've also learned more about respecting other people, respecting boundaries, um and respecting privacy as well. Um but I think I think for me the main thing is is that it's really given me an even bigger platform for my advocacy. And um I I I feel I personally feel like it's done really good things for my advocacy work, my personal advocacy work.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Good. Now you've also been involved in other speaking engagements, right? Do you want to talk about your work with the United Way?

SPEAKER_03 21:46

So every once in a while, and I actually have one coming up in October. So every once in a while, me and my boss Angela will Go to like w we will go to like a place. Company or a location or a bank or a location. We will go to those places and we will each give a speech on our experience within CLT. And um I will mostly talk about my accomplishments, my life accomplishments. Um Angela will talk a lot about like the history of CLT. Right. She'll talk about her role in CLT. So we are also actually a part of this thing called the Speaker's Bureau.

unknown 22:52

Right.

SPEAKER_03 22:54

Yeah. Which is a sort, I guess, sort of like a committee made of people who do a lot of speaking engagements within the United Way world.

SPEAKER_01 23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:12

Um, and so so yeah, I I do that.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

You've been doing that a lot quite a long time as well, right? A number of years? Yeah. Yeah. And you enjoy the public speaking, you don't get nervous.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

I I do. Um I find that I'm the rare person in the world that doesn't get nervous at these things because because for me, it really gives me it really I really breathe life into doing public speaking, um, because I feel like it personally really helps my advocacy. Okay. And helps helps me kind of to somewhat get my message out there.

SPEAKER_01 24:04

Right.

SPEAKER_03 24:05

And um I do I also I also like it too because I'm hopefully opening people's minds and hopefully dismantling certain stereotypes that are built around the different abilities community and the LGBTQ community. And um hopefully by me doing that, people will have a more broader approach to what disability is.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

Yeah, you're talking about your experience, and it might be different than what people perceive your experience to be, and that that gap is the growth that people would experience around understanding what your life is like. Yeah. Excellent, excellent. Um, now uh Samur, you're um you you've um done some similar stuff, and I I gather you're going to this Community Living Ontario conference. Um what do you got on there? That's in September. It's about a month from now, but or a few weeks in September.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

Yeah, I'm actually gonna be going there for the day. So it's only just uh meaning uh one day. So I'll be going on uh Wednesday, September the 16th.

SPEAKER_00 25:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 25:26

So um so far I've got the invite to go for the day. And then uh so far, um, what I'd be usually when I've heard what I'm gonna be going to do over there at the conference. I mean uh usually I mean from all the above, like I would be going there for to do work, like I'll be um having being uh um placed at the uh influencers booth, and I'm gonna be with Sam and conference.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

Okay, good. You're both going.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

Yes, we're we're both gonna go. It will be definitely be discussing about uh some people that comes uh and approaches us and asks us questions about the influencers. We would be sharing them about what are some of the um things that we've been doing there and what kind of skills that we've been gaining and uh what it's about and uh how it obviously creates to um go uh straightforward what it's like or so.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

And uh have you done this type of thing before where you're standing at a booth and talking about the work that you do?

SPEAKER_02 26:22

I did actually with the influencers at the picnic at the family fun fair or so. Okay. And uh basically, yeah, maybe with I did actually with the other different organizations with the Sprout at some conferences and at some other different uh events that I've done uh out that many years ago and uh that way with a group called Sprout, but Sprout is actually no more, so um Sprout's group is already finished. But when I'm at the conference, I'd be participating into some sessions and also to enjoy my time there and everything in the pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

And yeah, if people are if people are listening and they're at the conference, would you welcome them to come say hi at the booth and uh pick up some influencer swag?

SPEAKER_02 27:04

I could if I say hi to people, if people are walking by, or people would honestly would uh be you know catching their eyes onto our booths and many other different uh types of booths that they would be um uh providing. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Excellent. Excellent. Um final question for you both. Uh you both talked about the importance of community, and you both talked about the work that you're doing with influencers, and you're you're both also sort of pushing for change for our communities to be more uh more inclusive, um, for communities to be more welcoming, and you've got ideas on that. For for people listening, uh for people who believe in what you do, do you have some advice or some encouragement that you would say to people as they're uh they're doing their own thing around making their communities more inclusive? What is something that has maybe worked for you that you would suggest others do, or just something that somebody has done uh for you or with you that that made an impression? Uh any any thoughts that you'd give to to people? And and uh Sam, I'll start with you, but if you don't have a thought yet, I can go to Sammer and we can uh we can uh take a minute, whatever works best.

SPEAKER_03 28:20

Um I think I think for me.

SPEAKER_01 28:24

So sorry about I sort of rambled on a bit there. Is there something that um as people are doing their own advocacy and trying to build cur build communities and more inclusive communities, what's one thing that you would say that would be encouraging to people? Or is there something that somebody's done to you that was very meaningful um that you still remember?

SPEAKER_03 28:48

Um I think for me, if you yourself want to get into advocacy, um see what see what different groups are out there and see what different programs are out there. Um but for me, I feel like CLT community living Toronto has really helped me harness my advocacy and put it in put it into really good, beautiful ways that um I feel like hopefully are helping other people, helping other people's voices be heard, who maybe can't speak or they don't yet they have yet to find their voice.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:47

But um I would definitely credit Community Living Toronto with helping me kind of get my advocacy out there.

SPEAKER_01 30:01

That that's good to hear, and I'm sure that the influencers and and the work that you've done with Community Living Toronto has really helped a lot. But um, there are other organizations that you you talked about, dramaway, you've done you know, you had a bit of a YouTube pop a number of years ago where you were quite so you you've it's certainly something that you've built up to uh and put the work in to be to be at the position you're in today. So uh well done.

SPEAKER_03 30:26

So yeah, because I because I was I was a part of a video that went viral called um The Dancing Barista.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

Right.

SPEAKER_03 30:39

And it was posted by a self-advocate named Carly Fleischmann, who is one of my um inspirations. Um, and she posted it to her YouTube and then overnight, almost, almost overnight, it went like uber viral. Like like different news outlets picked it up. Um like it was kind of overwhelming to see all of that stuff, because like you never you never ever really think in your lifetime that a video that you are a part of what is ever gonna get like that much attention. And so one of those people who caught the who got the attention of the video was um Ellen DeGeneres. And she saw she saw the video, and eventually I went on her show. So me and her, me and my former manager Chris went on her show, and we were talking about my autism and my experience with the video and um all that kind of stuff. And I think that was really the moment when my advocacy really first started because I got like a really huge platform to be able to do these things. Right. And um, as much as I am not crazy about Ellen anymore, I I um I do really credit that for I also I also credit that for giving me my advocacy platform because I got a really big platform to be able to do that. So that's great. Uh that's just a cute little story.

SPEAKER_01 32:48

Yeah, and for those, yeah, no, it's it's excellent. And for those that haven't seen the video, it's available on YouTube, just googling and dancing barista. That's good. Um thanks for that, Sam. Uh Samur, over to you. Yeah. Uh, you've been doing influencing for a while and speaking about what's important to you. What advice would you have for people in the community that want to make communities more welcoming and more inclusive?

SPEAKER_02 33:14

Uh basically, um, the only thing how I can be more uh welcoming and very inclusive or so is uh the way how we would uh kind of uh you know, like uh making people feel that they're um wanted and that they're welcome and just to you know show their uh friendliness and uh warmth and to kindness and to be very um, you know, like a very like a sweet personality and uh very humorous and and and just not humorous like yeah, some way in which something funny humorous and just to be downright friendly and uh very generous and uh kind and innocent.

SPEAKER_01 33:50

Yeah. One of the things that I I've noticed, and there's an old Volkswagen commercial that's like this, something along this, is start with a smile. Smile at somebody. We we sometimes, when we're just walking, we're in our own thoughts, we're not we're not really paying attention. You're you're projecting that you're getting miserable or not very happy, and that might not be what's going on inside at all. So I think uh for me, around this idea of how do you engage people and show that your guys uh smile more, smile at people goes a long way.

SPEAKER_02 34:22

Starting off with a friendly smile. That's the word, thanks.

SPEAKER_01 34:25

Yeah, yeah, good, good. All right, um, that's our time. We've been at this about half an hour. What uh anything final thoughts before we wrap up? Uh Sam or anything final thought? Uh nope, that's pretty much all I can say. Good, good. Um, Sam.

SPEAKER_03 34:44

Um uh my final thought would be just just be yourself. And if anyone is making you feel uncomfortable, or if anyone is making you feel like you can't be yourself, then you shouldn't be around that person. Umil has always been just live your life the way that you want to live it, and just be your most authentic self.

SPEAKER_01 35:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 35:18

Is what I would like to end with.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

Good, excellent. I will see you at Community Living Ontario conference in a coup to two and a half weeks. Uh, if I don't see you before, I'll say hi at the booth if I don't see you before then. Thanks for doing this, and thanks for all the work that you're doing with the influencers. Excellent job. Thank you. Okay, take care of it. My pleasure. Take care, you guys. Okay, bye, bye. Thank you for listening, watching, and sharing. We release a new episode of community chats on the 15th and the 30th of each month, so don't forget to subscribe to stay up to date.